Have you ever felt unmotivated to do anything? Like you just wanna crawl up your bed, check twitter and 9gag for the whole day, and doesn’t want to socialize with anyone. I do. I thought it’s just a temporary thing. It would just go away in a day or two. But now, it has been a month. I would wake up in the middle of the night, my mind filled with worries and anxieties, usually about work, and could no longer go back to sleep. By the time I get ready for work, I feel tired already.
Sometimes, I feel the urge to just walk up to my Counselor and hand over my resignation letter, because it’s quite obvious, my work causes these unnecessary stresses. But sometimes, I also feel that this is just an episode, it will pass. That I just have to hang in there. But why does my feelings haven’t changed a bit for a month now? It seems that it’s getting worse. Sometimes I would call in sick, sometimes I would come in late. It’s already affecting my performance.
If only I was still in my early 20s, I may have the guts to just quit. But as an adult, why does it seems so hard? I told my husband about it. But he told me to not make hasty decisions. “Nasa kama ka na, gusto mo pa bumalik sa banig.” It’s the fear of the unknown. If I quit now, without having a back-up job, that would really affect our cash flow. Is money really an important factor?
Right now I’m in the office. I have so many things on my list to do today, but look – I ended up starting a blog and writing this.
I’ve been pounding my head with so many thoughts. I know there’s something wrong. I know God wants to teach me something. But at this very moment, I don’t feel so good about everything. Not. At. All.
But then I found this…